Do You Suffer From Tripod Allergy?

IMG_0916 (2).jpg

When the thought of carrying a tripod around with you gives you hives, and you feel like choking when looking at prices of carbon fibre models online, then you may suffer from a disease called tripod allergy. Tripod allergy is a sickness that affects millions of photographers worldwide. Symptoms include mostly blurry pictures and frozen water movement, but also wonky self-potraits when cameras are placed on car rooftops and slopy concrete walls. Occasional loss of cameras may occur in certain instances. Another less frequent symptom of Tripod Allergy is an rarely occurring illusion of lightness, when the patient imagines the gear bag to be a lot easier to carry around without a tripod. Sometimes the Tripod Allergy can result in a side effect that manifests itself through acute Ballhead envy. Patients often try to cure their Tripod Allergy with purchases of tripod substitutes, such as the cheaper monopods, Gorillapods or even bean bags. This however may result in an increased allergic reaction whereas the patient will refuse to even consider to use the replacement and hence increases ballhead envy manifold.

Do you suffer from Tripod Allergy? Do you give in to the illusion that you can hold your camera steady on a 2 second exposure, and that your gear will be stable when placed on a slippery rock? Do you believe that taking 127 photos in rapid sequence of a flower at 10 inches away with your macro lens will result in at least 1 acceptable picture? Are you convinced that tripods are an unnecessary evil and need to be avoided, and that a tripod is never worth its exuberant cost? Then you may find relief in this group therapy session. Let us know how you feel about Tripods, how long you have been suffering. If you are a recovering sufferer from Tripod Allergy, please feel free to share your experience of how you were able to cure your illness and give us insights of your tripod enriched life.

Thank you.

Bedtime Story for a New Camera Owner

One day the little girl took indoor pictures with her new camera. She was puzzled by how much noise there was in the pictures, and she couldn’t understand why her new camera was so much worse than her old one. She took picture after picture and the outcome was always the same, and by no means as good as everyone had said it would be. She had spent all of her lunch money for the new camera and when she realized that all she got for it were noisy pictures, she sat down and cried. The Brain Fairy up in the clouds noticed the crying came to see what was going on. She whispered “Why are you crying, little girl?” The little girl tried to explain how she couldn’t understand why her new camera wasn’t as good as her old camera, and how she had hoped it would be a lot better, just like everyone said, and how sad she was that she had spent all of her lunch money and all she got were noisy pictures… The Brain Fairy felt sorry for the little girl. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a hand full of brain dust, and while gently sprinkling it onto the little girls head, she said: “Your new camera is a lot more sophisticated than your old one, and certainly you must have missed something that is new to you… There are so many options in the new camera, and the default settings are different from what you are used to. Don’t dispair. Check the settings.”

The little girl wiped the snot from her noise and grabbed her camera. She flipped throug the settings and found that Noise Reduction was OFF. The Brain Fairy flew back to the clouds and the little girl felt like an idiot.

The end.