When Boobs are a Bad Thing

With the purchase of an 11” Macbook Air came the realization that I didn’t have a bag that can fit both my essential camera gear AND my new laptop. Since I already own a backpack and find it cumbersome not only to access my gear while I am wearing it, but I also think that it’s unpractical for everything BUT wearing it (e.g. on your lap, or carrying by just one strap) I figured that a messenger style bag would fit the bill on most aspects. I went and researched the heck out of camera messenger bags with laptop compartments and found a great bag from Incase, designed by a photographer (Ari Marcopoulos – which admittedly I had never heard of before, but who seems to be famous not only for his photography but also because he used to be Andy Warhols’ assistant), made out of a grey canvas-type fabric and just big enough to fit a few lenses, the camera body, a tripod strapped to the bottom and – of course – my Macbook in a side pocket. With anxiety I awaited the arrival of the precious bag which I had been lucky enough to order during a 40% off sale at Indesign, and it arrived promptly. Lovely bag, really. Materials and workmanship is excellent, albeit the bag itself is a bit heavy even empty. Straps are comfortable and long enough for my tall self, and all the gear I wanted to stash inside it fit perfectly (with room to spare for things like makeup pouch, a pack of gummy bears and a cellphone.)

Finally the big moment arrived when I needed to put the thing on my shoulders. And then it hit me. Actually, it didn’t hit me. It lifted me. It lifted and separated. Unfortunately, while it separated nicely, it lifted only one of my girls in a way that I would describe as too perky for regular wear. So while the bag was super comfortable, large enough for my gear AND totally cute, I will have to send it back to Incase. My hopes that THIS particular sling bag would be different from all the other sling bags that I had tried in the past were crushed. It is not. It’s a regular, old, boob pushing slingbag. It lifts, and separates. My husband took one look at me with the bag strap across my chest and laughed heartily. He mentioned that a bunch of guys MAY be have lift-and-separation issues also, something they may be even more embarrassed about as I would be.

The search for the perfect camera bag continues...